The Cosmic Therapist with a Sword: Healing Through Boundaries

Or: How to Say "No" Without Triggering a Family Crisis That Lasts Three Generations

PREVIOUSLY ON MARS IN CANCER...

We've learned to choose our battles, connect with our warrior body, and stop stress-scrolling Instagram at 3 AM. Now it's time for the really scary part: setting boundaries without having to move to another country and change your name. (Though keep that as Plan B.)

We've journeyed from emotional warrior boot camp through strategic battle selection and physical embodiment. Now we're learning the art of energetic boundaries: because apparently, ghosting everyone and moving to a mountain cave isn't a sustainable long-term solution (I checked). Today's mission: learning to say "no" with the grace of a diplomat and the firmness of a bouncer at an exclusive club.

💡 "I CAN BE GENTLE AND POWERFUL SIMULTANEOUSLY"

(Because "gently" telling someone to f*ck off is a life skill they don't teach in school)

INTRODUCTION: WHY BOUNDARIES ARE AN ACT OF LOVE

(And not a sign that you're "difficult" as your aunt claims at family gatherings)

Boundaries aren't walls. They're conscious energy filters. They're the guardians of our vitality, our inner shields that allow us to remain in our authentic energy, instead of being depleted by others' demands, manipulations, or unconscious projections. Because if you're not ready to guard your energetic space, the universe has a whole queue of people eager to use you as their free therapist, delivery person, and emotional punching bag.

Many think setting boundaries is an act of aggression, but it's actually the opposite: it's an act of love. Self-love, first and foremost, which is a concept as foreign to some as tax return instructions. When we clearly communicate our needs and what we don't want, we're not just protecting ourselves, we're allowing others to see and respect us in our true light. Boundaries aren't separation, they're precise navigation between energies. Or as I call it: "the art of refusing bullsh*t with a smile."

🔹 SETTING BOUNDARIES MEANS:

(Now officially giving your inner child permission to say "no" without guilt)

• Respecting yourself enough to say 'no' when something doesn't align with you (Revolutionary for those of us who grew up thinking people-pleasing was a personality trait, not a disorder)

• Maintaining the integrity of your energetic space (Which means you don't have to be an emotional tampon for others' problems just because you have a kind face)

• Allowing yourself inner clarity and peace (Because your mind isn't a public square where every random thought gets a microphone and stage time)

EXERCISE: BOUNDARIES WITH LOVE - MAPPING RELATIONSHIPS AND TOXIC PATTERNS

(Or how to realize that person who always texts you at 2 AM MIGHT be a problem)

📝 WHAT YOU NEED:

Paper and pen (or digital note). And probably a glass of wine or strong tea, because this might be as fun as making the "not invited to my wedding" list.

1. RELATIONSHIP LIST Make a list of relationships currently in your life (family, friends, work, partners, etc.). Don't forget to include those you mostly see on social media but who still have opinions about every aspect of your life.

2. BODY FEEL For each person on the list, close your eyes and feel what your body says. Is it a feeling of lightness or heaviness? Strength or exhaustion? Excitement or desire to hide under the bed with a bag of chips? (Pro tip: If you automatically reach for your phone to check what that person is doing on Instagram while doing this exercise, that's a sign in itself.)

3. BOUNDARY OR ADJUSTMENT? For each person, write one of these options:

• Need clearer boundary with this person. (For that friend who only calls when there's drama and never asks how you are)

• Need to redefine this relationship. (For the coworker who thinks you're best friends while you barely remember their name)

• Need to withdraw from this relationship. (For that person who makes you automatically pour two glasses of wine before you even know you'll see them)

4. WHERE AM I LOSING ENERGY? Mark relationships where you feel energetically drained. These are often relationships where your 'no' wasn't clear enough. Or where your 'no' was crystal clear, but the person treats it as 'maybe' because that's "just how your dynamic works." (Therapy translation: If you need two days to recover after hanging out with someone, that's not friendship, that's an energy tax.)

5. SET A NEW BOUNDARY For each person on the list, create one sentence that is your new boundary, e.g.:

• "From now on, I respond to messages when it suits me, not immediately." (Because you're not an emergency response unit for others' emotional fires)

• "I no longer allow passive-aggressive comments about myself." (Alternatively: "Yes, weight is genetic, as is my ability to ignore you, Aunt Martha")

• "I don't explain myself to people who don't want to understand." (Because some people don't care about your explanation, only about the opportunity to judge you)

• "My free time is actually free, not your emergency backup slot." (Which mysteriously always coincides with your planned rest time)

🚀 EXERCISE CONCLUSION:

When you set this clear intention and write your boundaries, you've already energetically directed your space toward healthier interactions. Or at least toward less stressful family gatherings where you don't have to invent an excuse to leave the room every time someone mentions politics.

MINI RITUAL: SYMBOLIC CUTTING OF SOMETHING THAT REPRESENTS OLD ENERGY

(Or how to dramatically end toxic relationships without actually making a scene in a restaurant)

🎭 WHAT YOU NEED:

Paper, scissors (or even a physical object that represents something you want to release). Warning: don't use ex-partners' objects, that's a different workshop and requires an open-fire permit.

1. PREPARATION Write on paper the pattern, situation, or relationship that no longer serves you. Examples include:

• "I'll be available to everyone 24/7"

• "I'm worth as much as I can help others"

• "I must always be right"

• "Name of that person who only takes and never gives"

2. AWARENESS Study what you've written and feel what it brings you: maybe heaviness, anxiety, or a dose of nostalgia. Or maybe surprising relief, like when you take off uncomfortable shoes after a long day or cancel plans you didn't want to make.

3. ACTION Take the scissors and physically cut that paper, symbolically cutting the connection with what's no longer yours. (Yes, this is a bit melodramatic, but hey, Mars is involved - a little drama is allowed. Besides, if you can be dramatic about new shoes, you can be dramatic about your spiritual growth.)

4. RELEASE If you want, you can burn the paper, but it's not necessary. The point is that energy knows: the decision is made. Plus, if you live in an apartment, the fire alarm might interrupt your spiritual moment, which isn't quite in line with the cosmic atmosphere we're creating.

5. INTEGRATION Breathe deeply, feel the relief, and say aloud or to yourself: "I release this with love. My space is now clear." Or alternatively: "Goodbye energy vampires, I'm drinking my wine alone from now on."

CONCLUSION: THE ART OF ENERGETIC SELECTION

(Or how not to be an emotional buffet for hungry ghosts)

Setting boundaries isn't selfish: it's a sacred act of self-preservation. It's recognizing that your energy isn't an infinite resource and that you have the right to choose where and how to direct it.

Mars in Cancer has taught us that the deepest strength often lies in a gentle but firm "no". That we're bravest when we stand in our truth, even when it means disappointing others. And that our boundaries are a sign of self-respect, not defensive walls.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where you feel someone crossing your boundary, pause. Breathe. And ask yourself:

• Does this serve me?

• Have I set a clear boundary?

• Does this person respect my space?

And then, with love but determination, use your cosmic sword to cut what doesn't nourish you. Because a true warrior doesn't fight everything – they choose their battles with heart wisdom.

And when you feel guilty for saying "no" (because you will, we're socially programmed for it), remember: every time you say "no" to something that depletes you, you say "yes" to your peace, your creativity, and your true purpose.

And that, my dear cosmic warriors, is the most beautiful gift you can give yourself and the world: your authentic, undiluted, boundary-protected presence.

Share in the comments: What's the most ridiculous excuse you've ever made to avoid setting a clear boundary? (Mine was pretending my cat had anxiety and needed me at home, which wasn't entirely false – I was the one with anxiety.)

For deeper reflection: Think of a relationship where you're struggling with boundaries. If your future self could send you a message about this situation, what would they say?

PRACTICAL HOMEWORK

The "No" Practice: Choose one day this weekend to be your "boundary experiment day." Each time you want to automatically say "yes," pause for 3 seconds. Bonus points if you actually say "no" to something without offering a 45-minute explanation why.

The Energy Audit: Set three alarms on your phone tomorrow. When they go off, ask yourself: "Who or what is occupying my energy right now? Is this a conscious choice?" Write one word answers. By the end of the day, you'll have a clear picture of your energy leaks.