🔥 Your Pussy Is a Quantum Antenna (And You've Been Using It to Dial Wrong Numbers)

On reclaiming your erotic energy, stopping the projection loop, and learning to be the entire fucking frequency yourself

Look, I need to tell you something that nobody warned you about when you were busy learning how to be “desirable” and “appropriate” and “not too much.” That ache in your belly when you’re staring at your phone waiting for him to text? That flutter when you see his name pop up? That hollow feeling when he doesn’t respond for three hours and forty-seven minutes (yes, you counted, and yes, you also Googled “what does it mean when a guy takes 3 hours to respond” at 2 AM)? That’s not love, babe. That’s your erotic energy trying to find its way back home, and mistaking his dick for a GPS signal.

The Scene You Know Too Well (And Have Probably Live-Tweeted)

It’s 11:47 PM. You’re lying in bed, phone on your chest like a defibrillator that might restart your heart if it vibrates. You told yourself you wouldn’t check again.

You checked again. Nothing.

Here’s what’s happening in your body right now: Your throat’s clenched like you’re trying to swallow a golf ball made of anxiety. Your ovaries are doing this weird hot-pulsing thing that’s either arousal or a medical emergency, you’re not sure which. Your belly’s knotted up so tight you could bounce a quarter off it. And your chest? Your chest is holding its breath like if you just stay very, very still, the universe will reward your stillness with a notification.

This is not meditation. This is hostage negotiation with your own nervous system.

And here’s what you THINK is happening: You want him. Here’s what’s ACTUALLY happening: You want the part of yourself you handed over to him when you decided his attention was the currency of your worth. You want the version of you who felt alive, magnetic, whole, and you’ve outsourced that feeling to someone who’s probably not even thinking about you because he’s busy watching TikToks about protein powder.

Your erotic energy, that raw, primal, life-force current that’s supposed to be YOUR navigation system through reality: has been outsourced. You’ve essentially given the keys to your quantum sports car to a guy who thinks it’s a tricycle and is currently trying to do donuts in a Wendy’s parking lot.

Let’s Talk About What Erotic Energy Actually Is (Spoiler: It Has Nothing to Do With That Thing You Learned on Pornhub)

Okay, so before we go any further, let me clarify something: When I say “erotic energy,” I’m not talking about your ability to do that thing with your hips that you saw in a music video when you were 14 and have been subconsciously performing ever since. Eroticism isn’t just about sex. It’s not about being “sexy” or “seductive” or knowing how to arch your back at the right angle for Instagram while simultaneously looking like you’re NOT trying to arch your back for Instagram.

Your erotic energy is your life force. It’s the current that animates you. The frequency that determines which version of reality collapses into your experience. The signal that broadcasts to the quantum field: “This is who I am when I’m fully alive.” It’s the difference between existing and EXISTING.

When you’re connected to it: when it’s flowing through you like water through a river, not like water you’re desperately trying to hold in your cupped palms while running uphill, you walk differently. You speak differently. You make choices from a place that your rational mind can’t even touch because it’s too busy trying to “figure things out” using a strategy guide from 1987.

But here’s what happened: Somewhere along the line, probably around the time you were told to sit still, be quiet, and stop being “so much”, you learned that your aliveness was inappropriate. That your hunger was shameful. That your desire needed to be packaged, prettified, and presented in a way that made other people comfortable enough to not feel threatened by the sheer force of your life pulsing through your body. So you started performing. And babe, you got SO good at it that you forgot you were acting.

The Anatomy of Projection (Or: How You Learned to Give Your Power Away in Five Easy Steps That Are Actually Trauma)

Let me paint you some scenes. Tell me if they sound familiar.

Scene One: The Lingerie Drawer Hostage Situation

You’re getting ready for a date. You open your underwear drawer and suddenly you’re not a grown woman with autonomy and a 401k. You’re a contestant on a game show called “Whose Desire Is This Anyway?” You’re not asking yourself: “What makes MY body feel alive? What fabric makes me want to dance naked in my kitchen at 3 AM?” You’re asking: “What would HE like? What says ‘I’m effortlessly sexy’ while also communicating ‘but not TOO sexual because I’m also marriage material’?”

You choose the lace. The one with the underwire that digs into your ribs like it’s personally offended by your lung capacity. The thong that’s basically dental floss with aspirations. You’re wearing what is objectively a cheese grater and calling it foreplay. This isn’t eroticism. This is customer service. You’re a waitress at a restaurant you didn’t choose, serving a menu you didn’t write, hoping for a good tip in the form of his continued interest. Meanwhile, your ACTUAL body, the one that wants to wear soft cotton and feel like a fucking goddess, is in the back room, smoking a cigarette and wondering when you’re gonna remember she exists.

Scene Two: The Morning After (Or: Existential Crisis Served With Eggs)

You had sex last night. Your body was there, technically. It showed up to the appointment. It opened. It moved. It made approximately the right sounds at approximately the right times, like a well-trained backup singer who’s been told to smile but not too much. But here’s the thing: Somewhere around the second thrust, your soul excused itself to go to the bathroom and just... never came back. It’s in the other room, having a full-blown existential crisis while you’re here going through the motions like you’re following IKEA assembly instructions for intimacy.

And now it’s morning. He’s asleep. You’re lying there with your heart doing that thing where it’s simultaneously racing and empty, like a hamster wheel that’s spinning in a vacuum. Your throat is tight. Your belly feels like someone replaced your organs with concrete. Your ovaries are sending distress signals that roughly translate to: “MA’AM, WE WERE NOT CONSULTED ABOUT THIS DECISION.”

You feel... hollow. Like something took more than it gave and you can’t even explain WHAT got taken because you were too busy performing pleasure to actually FEEL anything. That’s not intimacy, babe. That’s dissociation with an orgasm. That’s trauma wearing lingerie and a smile. That’s your nervous system going: “I’ve seen this movie before and SPOILER ALERT: it doesn’t end well, so I’m just gonna dip out emotionally while your body finishes the scene.”

The Text Analysis (Or: How You Became a Forensic Linguist Without Getting a Degree)

He wrote: “Hey”

That’s it. Three letters. One syllable. The linguistic equivalent of a grunt. And you? Oh honey. You’ve now spent seventeen minutes, SEVENTEEN, analyzing whether “Hey” with a period is different from “Hey” without punctuation. You’ve consulted three friends. You’ve posted in two different Reddit threads. You’ve checked Co-Star to see if Mercury is in retrograde. You’re one step away from hiring a forensic linguist and creating a PowerPoint presentation with graphs.

You’ve drafted four different responses:

1. “Hey!” (Too eager)

2. “Hey” (Too matchy, seems desperate)

3. “Heyy” (The extra y says “I’m casual but also I’ve been staring at this screen for 20 minutes”)

4. Don’t respond at all and see if reverse psychology works (Narrator: It doesn’t)

Stop. Your nervous system is not supposed to be doing THIS. Your nervous system is supposed to be scanning for actual threats like bears and car accidents, not trying to decode whether punctuation is a referendum on your worth as a human being. The real question isn’t “What does he mean?”. The real question is: “Why am I outsourcing my emotional stability to someone else’s texting habits?”. Babe, you’re not in a relationship. You’re in a true crime podcast about your own nervous system, and the mystery is: Who killed your self-worth and left only breadcrumbs as evidence?

Your Brain on Trauma Bonding (AKA: Why You’re Horny for Red Flags and Calling It Chemistry)

Okay, let’s get nerdy for a second. And by nerdy, I mean I’m about to explain why your brain is essentially running Windows 95 while trying to process a relationship that requires iOS 17. Understanding the neuroscience of this shit will help you stop feeling crazy. Because you’re not crazy. Your nervous system is just doing exactly what it was trained to do which is, unfortunately, to confuse anxiety with attraction and call it “butterflies.”

The Dopamine Trap (Or: How You Became a Lab Rat and Didn’t Even Get Paid)

When you’re attracted to someone who’s emotionally unavailable, your brain is doing something very specific. It’s essentially pressing a button that sometimes gives you cocaine and sometimes gives you an electric shock. And the fucked up part? That’s not passion. That’s literally called “intermittent reinforcement,” and it’s the same psychological mechanism they use in slot machines.

Your dopamine system, the reward center in your brain, gets MORE activated by uncertainty than by actual satisfaction. When you KNOW someone likes you? When they’re consistent and available? Your dopamine is like, “Cool, thanks, moving on.” But when you DON’T know? When he texts you at 2 AM but ignores you for three days? When he’s hot then cold then hot again like a Katy Perry song became a personality disorder? Your dopamine goes WILD. Your brain literally thinks: Chaos = Love. Anxiety = Attraction. Pain = Proof He Cares.

Congratulations, you’ve trained yourself to get wet for red flags. Your pussy is basically a moth and emotional unavailability is a bug zapper.

The Amigdala’s Fucked Up Filing System

Your amigdala, that almond-shaped alarm system deep in your brain, has ONE job: Scan for threat or pleasure. Simple, right?

Except when you’ve got unresolved trauma, those wires get crossed. The same neural pathway fires for “I’m turned on” and “I’m in danger.” So when someone treats you like shit but occasionally shows affection? Your amigdala is having a full meltdown, screaming: “IS THIS PLEASURE OR THREAT? I CAN’T TELL! IT’S BOTH! ALERT ALERT ALERT!” And your nervous system, in its infinite wisdom, goes: “This is familiar. This feels like home. This must be love.”

No, babe. That’s not love. That’s your seven-year-old self recognizing the emotional weather pattern of your childhood and going, “Oh good, I know how to navigate THIS storm.” The same touch that excites you also scares you. The same person who makes you feel alive also makes you feel like you might die if they leave. Your body literally can’t tell the difference between arousal and anxiety anymore because they’ve been so tangled together for so long that they’re basically conjoined twins sharing a nervous system.

The Limbic System’s Emotional Hostage Situation

Let’s talk about your limbic system for a second, specifically, your hypothalamus, which is basically the control center for your hormonal responses, including sexual desire, fear, and emotional memory. When you feel that intense pull toward someone? That magnetic, “I NEED him” feeling?

Your hypothalamus is doing several things at once:

• Heart rate: UP

• Body temperature: UP

• Vaginal lubrication: ACTIVATED

• Muscle tension: ENGAGED

• Rational thought: OFFLINE

Your body is literally preparing for either sex or a fight. Sometimes both. Sometimes it can’t tell which one you’re about to have. And here’s the kicker: Your hypothalamus doesn’t distinguish between “I’m excited because this is good for me” and “I’m excited because this is triggering every abandonment wound I’ve ever had.” To your hypothalamus, intensity = importance. Drama = depth. And if your nervous system learned early on that love is conditional, unpredictable, or requires you to perform to be worthy? Your hypothalamus is like: “This guy who’s emotionally unavailable and triggering all your wounds? PERFECT. This is EXACTLY the frequency of love we recognize. Let’s GET IT.”

The Vagus Nerve’s Veto Power (Or: Why You Can Orgasm and Still Feel Dead Inside)

Here’s the piece that’ll really fuck you up: Your vagus nerve. This is the main highway of your parasympathetic nervous system: the part that determines whether you feel safe enough to actually BE PRESENT during intimacy.

If you have to perform? If you’re monitoring his reactions? If you’re managing his experience? If you’re afraid that showing your real desire: your real sounds, your real face, your real hunger might make him think you’re “too much”? Your vagus nerve goes: “Nah, we’re out.” It shuts the fuck down. It hits the emergency exit. It basically ghosts your own body. Your body’s still there, going through the motions, doing the thing, but your SOUL is in the other room, disassociating and probably watching Netflix.

That’s why you can have an orgasm and still feel empty. Because climax without presence isn’t pleasure. It’s just a biological function. It’s like sneezing, but with more moaning and less tissues. When your vagus nerve is OPEN, when you feel safe, seen, held, your heart opens with your pussy. Your breath deepens. Your sounds are real. Your body stops performing and starts FEELING. But when it’s closed? You’re basically a very convincing animatronic of yourself, and honestly, Universal Studios could learn something from your performance quality.

The Orbitofrontal Cortex’s Moral Crisis

Your orbitofrontal cortex is the part of your brain trying to make sense of why you’re attracted to people who hurt you. It’s sitting there with a list of red flags, a pros-and-cons spreadsheet, and growing existential dread, while your limbic system is already naked and doesn’t care about ANY of it. Logic can’t win when your shadow’s running the show.

The Insula’s Truth Detector (That You’ve Been Ignoring)

Your insula is your body’s truth detector responsible for interoception, aka knowing what the fuck is happening inside you. When you’re connected to it, you can FEEL the difference between anxiety masquerading as excitement (tight chest, held breath) and actual desire that feels like opening (warm belly, grounded breath). But most of us have been so disconnected that we can’t tell if our body’s saying YES or having a panic attack we’re calling chemistry

Hunger Isn’t a Problem. It’s a Portal. (And You’ve Been Trying to Shove It Through a Glory Hole)

That longing you feel? That ache in your chest when you’re alone at night? That specific brand of loneliness that no amount of Netflix, wine, vibrators, or scrolling through your ex’s Instagram can touch? You’ve been taught that it means something’s wrong with you. That you’re broken. Incomplete. Not enough. That you need to find “your other half” (as if you’re a fucking half-eaten sandwich just wandering around looking for your other slice). Bullshit.

That hunger is your SOUL saying: “Hey. Hi. Remember me? I’m still here. You left parts of yourself scattered across other people’s beds, and I need you to go get them.” Every time you feel that ache for HIM, here’s the translation your body is actually trying to give you: “I miss the version of myself I was becoming before I handed her the script that said ‘be smaller, quieter, easier, less.’”

You don’t miss him. You miss YOU. The you who laughed without checking to see if it was too loud. The you who said what she wanted without turning it into a question. The you who moved through the world like her body was a cathedral, not a commodity. The you who didn’t apologize for taking up space or having needs or wanting things.

She didn’t disappear because she was wrong: she disappeared because she was too powerful. So you dimmed her, traded her for a version more likely to be chosen

Your Pelvis Is a Quantum Instrument (And You’ve Been Using It to Tune Into Frequencies That Confirm Your Wounding Instead of Your Wholeness)

Okay, let’s get WITCHY with it. And by witchy, I mean let’s talk about quantum mechanics, because at a certain point, science and spirituality just start making out in the corner and we all have to accept it. In quantum physics, there’s this concept called superposition, the idea that a particle exists in multiple states simultaneously until it’s observed. You’re not just ONE version of yourself. You’re a WAVE of possibilities. Schrödinger’s cat, but make it your personality and also you’re not in a box, you’re in a dating app. And here’s the thing about waves: They collapse into form based on FREQUENCY.

Your erotic energy isn’t just “good vibes” or whatever your yoga teacher said during shavasana. It’s a literal electromagnetic field. It’s information. It’s a signal broadcasting into the quantum field: “This is the reality I’m available for.”

When you’re walking around projecting your hunger onto random men, when you’re scrolling through dating apps at 1 AM feeling like a ghost looking for a body to haunt, you’re literally tuning your quantum antenna to the frequency of LACK. You’re saying: “I’m empty. I’m starving. Someone fill me.” And guess what the universe delivers? More experiences of being empty. More people who can’t fill you (because no one can). More situations that confirm: “See? You’re not enough on your own.”

But when you reclaim that energy, when you learn to BE the hunger instead of frantically trying to feed it… you activate a completely different frequency. You start broadcasting: “I’m FULL. I’m ALIVE. I’m the whole fucking feast.” And THAT’S the frequency that attracts people who don’t want to consume you. Who want to MEET you. Who can actually handle the full voltage of your aliveness without trying to dim it, manage it, or turn it into something they can control.

Your Pussy Isn’t Just a Pleasure Center. It’s a Reality-Selection Device.

I’m about to say something that sounds insane but is actually just physics wearing fishnets: Your pussy knows which reality you’re choosing before your mind does.

That wetness? That opening? That fluttery, “oh hello” feeling in your pelvis? That’s not random. That’s not “just hormones.” That’s your body giving you INFORMATION about what frequency you’re tuning into. Pay attention to WHERE that arousal is coming from:

Is it arousal that comes from PRESENCE?
Deep. Grounded. Full-body. Your breath drops into your belly. Your heart opens WITH your pussy. There’s no separation between desire and safety. This feels like coming HOME.

Or is it arousal that comes from ANXIETY?
Frantic. Desperate. “Please want me” energy. Your breath is stuck high in your chest. Your heart is CLOSED even though your body is open. This feels like HUNGER pretending to be desire.

Your body knows the difference. Your vagina is equipped with more nerve endings than most of your brain. It’s not dumb. It’s been trying to tell you the truth while your mind’s been busy making vision boards and pretending toxic situations are “karmic lessons.”

The Seven Symptoms of Disconnected Erotic Energy (Or: A Checklist to Determine If You’ve Been Living as a Ghost in Your Own Life)

Let me give you a diagnostic checklist. If you recognize yourself in three or more of these, babe, your erotic energy is currently subletting an apartment in someone else’s nervous system and you need to GO GET IT.

1. You’re Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable People (And You Call It “Having a Type”)

You think you want depth. You think you’re drawn to “complex” people, “damaged artists,” “emotionally intelligent men who just need the right woman to heal them.” Nope. What you’re actually attracted to is the CONFIRMATION of your wound. You’re attracted to people who can’t hold you because YOU can’t hold yourself. The “chemistry” you feel isn’t connection. It’s RECOGNITION. Your nervous system recognizing familiar pain and going, “Oh thank god, HOME. I know how to do THIS dance.” That person who’s emotionally unavailable? They’re not your soulmate. They’re a mirror showing you the part of yourself you’ve been abandoning.

The shift: Start asking yourself: “Am I choosing this person from fullness, or from the part of me that still believes love requires suffering?”

2. You’re Terrified to Tell the Truth in Relationships (Because What If the Truth Makes Them Leave?)

You feel the intensity. You sense the misalignment. You KNOW something’s off. But you don’t say anything because you don’t want to “ruin it” or “rock the boat” or “be too much.” Translation: You’d rather maintain the ILLUSION of connection than risk the intimacy that comes from being REAL. You’re performing stability while your insides are screaming. Your throat is CLENCHED with all the words you’re not saying. Your belly is KNOTTED with all the needs you’re pretending you don’t have.

The shift: If your relationship can’t survive your truth, it was never yours. If it CAN survive your truth, if speaking what’s real makes it DEEPER, then it just became real for the first time.

3. You Test and Seduce Compulsively (Because You’re Trying to Feel Real)

You’re constantly checking: “How far can I go? How much do I matter? How much can I show before it’s too much? Will they stay if I...?”

You’re not trying to be manipulative. You’re trying to feel REAL. Because somewhere along the line, you learned that love only exists when it’s PROVEN through chaos, pursuit, and your ability to be captivating enough to override someone’s ambivalence.You think: “If I can make him want me, then I must be real. If I can seduce him, then I exist.” But babe, you’re not seducing him. You’re trying to seduce YOURSELF back into your own body. You’re using him as a mirror to confirm: “I’m here. I’m alive. I matter.”

The shift: You’re not seducing to be loved. You’re seducing because you’ve forgotten how to feel your own aliveness without external validation. Try being PRESENT without the performance. See what happens.

4. You Close Down Immediately After Sex (Even When It Was “Good”)

Your body opened. Your body moved. Your body maybe even came. But the second it’s over? SLAM. Walls up. Heart closed. You’re suddenly cold, distant, maybe even disgusted. You’re lying there feeling like you just gave something away that you can’t get back. Like your body was there but YOU weren’t. Like you just had an out-of-body experience but instead of floating above yourself, you just... left. That’s not post-coital tristesse, babe. That’s not “come down.” That’s your nervous system screaming: “WE WERE NOT ACTUALLY PRESENT FOR THAT.”

The shift: Sex without presence isn’t intimacy. It’s dissociation with better lighting. Learn to STAY, especially after. That’s where the real intimacy lives.

5. You Sabotage When Things Get “Too Good” (Because Deep Intimacy Feels Like Annihilation)

The relationship is good. He’s actually SHOWING UP. He’s consistent. He SEES you. And suddenly? You’re picking fights. Finding flaws. Creating distance. Looking for exits. Convinced that it’s “not right” or “missing something” or “too easy to be real.” Why? Because real intimacy requires you to be seen when you’re soul-naked. When all your defenses are down. When you can’t hide behind performance or charm or the safety of chaos. And that? That feels more terrifying than being alone.

The shift: You don’t have a problem with love. You have a problem with being WITNESSED in your wholeness. Stay anyway. Let him see you. Let YOURSELF see you.

6. You Overthink EVERYTHING (Because Your Mind Is Trying to Protect Your Heart from Actually Feeling)

You’re not present in your relationship because you’re too busy ANALYZING it.

What does he mean? What’s he thinking? Is this going somewhere? Should I text first? Is he pulling away? Was that comment about his ex a red flag? Should I bring up the future or will that scare him? Does he actually like me or is he just bored? You’re running algorithms. You’re collecting data. You’re building spreadsheets in your mind trying to PREDICT outcomes so you can protect yourself from pain. Your mind is doing this because if it can FIGURE IT OUT, it doesn’t have to FEEL IT.

The shift: Stop interpreting. Start SENSING. Drop out of your head and into your body. Your belly already knows the truth. Your throat already knows what needs to be said. Your pussy already knows if this is a yes or a no.

7. You’re Addicted to Intensity (Because Calm Feels Like Death)

Relationships that are stable feel boring. People who are consistent feel “flat.” You need high drama, emotional rollercoasters, fights and makeups and chaos just to feel like it’s REAL. When someone’s steady? When they’re AVAILABLE? When there’s no mystery, no games, no anxiety? You think: “This doesn’t feel like love.” That’s because your nervous system has been running on the equation: Stress = Love. Uncertainty = Passion. Pain = Proof of Connection. You’ve literally trained yourself to associate calm with abandonment. Safety with boredom. Stability with the absence of desire.

The shift: Intensity isn’t proof of depth. It’s proof that your nervous system is activated. The real challenge? Learn to feel ALIVE in the presence of peace. Learn that quiet presence can hold more eroticism than any drama ever could.

If you recognized yourself in even THREE of these? Babe, you’re not broken. But your erotic energy is currently living in someone else’s zip code, and it’s time to bring her home.

The Ritual of Reclamation (Or: How to Stop Outsourcing Your Aliveness to People Who Don’t Even Know They’re Holding It Hostage)

Okay. So. How do you actually DO this? How do you call your erotic energy back from every fuck boy, every “maybe,” every situationship, every relationship where you performed your way through intimacy like you were auditioning for a role you didn’t even want?

Here’s the thing: You can’t think your way into this. You can’t manifest it. You can’t journal it into existence using a pink pen and good intentions. You have to DO it. In your BODY. With your BREATH. In the places where the disconnection actually LIVES.

Step One: Map the Projection (AKA: Find Out Where You Left Yourself)

Get a journal. Not your phone. An actual journal. With paper. I know, revolutionary. Answer these questions with BRUTAL honesty: “Who am I when he texts vs. when he ghosts?” Sit with that. REALLY sit with it. Are you confident, grounded, full when he’s responsive, and anxious, empty, desperate when he’s not? That gap? That difference between those two versions of you? THAT’S where you left yourself.

The version of you who feels worthy, alive, magnetic, full; she only shows up when HE validates her. She’s living in his approval. She’s hostage to his attention.

Other questions: What parts of myself do I hide? What do I want to say but don’t? What would I choose if I wasn’t afraid of being alone? Write it all down. Don’t censor. Don’t make it pretty. Let it be RAW. This isn’t therapy. This is archaeology. You’re digging up the parts of you that got buried alive.

Step Two: Sensation Without Seduction (AKA: Learning to Feel Yourself Without Needing an Audience)

Okay, this is where it gets REAL. Lie down. Naked. Alone. Door locked. Phone off. No music. No candles. No “ambiance.” Just you and your body. Put your hands on your BELLY. Not your pussy, your belly. Where the hunger lives. Where the knot lives. Where all the unsaid words and unfelt feelings are stored like a fucking storage unit you’ve been avoiding for years.

Breathe into it. Deep. Slow. Let it pulse. Let it ache. Let it WANT. Do NOT try to fix it. Do NOT try to make it go away. Do NOT try to feed it, fuck it away, or distract yourself from it. This is not masturbation. This is not “self-care.” This is REPATRIATION. You are calling your erotic energy back from every person who got to borrow it before you even knew it was yours.

Say this out loud, even if your voice shakes: “I’m done outsourcing my aliveness.” Say it again. “My body is not for proving my worth. My body is where I LIVE.” One more time: “I am reclaiming every part of myself I gave away to feel safe, wanted, or loved.”

Now breathe. Just breathe. Let your belly rise and fall. Let sensations move through you without needing them to mean anything or lead anywhere. This practice is about learning to BE IN YOUR BODY without needing it to perform, seduce, or produce an outcome. Five minutes a day. That’s it. Watch what changes.

Step Three: The Mirror Ritual (Or: Meeting Yourself Without the Filter)

This one’s gonna feel uncomfortable. Good. Discomfort means you’re touching something real.

Stand in front of a mirror. Naked. Not “sexy naked.” Just... naked. No posing. No angles. No sucking in. No “good lighting.” Just you. As you are. Right now. Put one hand on your heart. One hand on your belly. Look at yourself. Not at your “flaws.” Not at what you wish was different. Just... LOOK. And say this: “This body isn’t for proving anything. This body is where truth lives.”

Say it until you can say it without your throat closing. “I don’t need to be perfect to be powerful. I don’t need to be smaller to be loved. My aliveness is not negotiable.” Do this every day for a week. Watch how your relationship to your own body shifts when you stop seeing it through someone else’s eyes.

Step Four: Rewrite the Neural Pathway (Or: Installing New Software in Your Nervous System)

Your body’s been running old code. Programs like:

• “Drama = Love”

• “Uncertainty = Desire”

• “Perform = Worthy”

• “Available = Boring”

• “Intensity = Depth”

Time to install updates. Here’s how: Sit on the floor. Bare feet on the ground. Spine long. Eyes closed. Breathe:

• In through your nose for 4 counts

• Hold for 4

• Out through your mouth for 8

As you breathe, GENTLY rock your pelvis forward and back. Not sexual. Just... moving. Like you’re slow-dancing with yourself from the inside. Let your hips sway. Let your belly soften. Let your jaw release. And as you move, repeat these NEW programs:

“I chose from wounds. Now I choose from soul.” * “I was silent to keep them. Now I’m the voice that stays.” * “I offered myself from hunger. Now I give from fullness.” * “I loved from fear. Now I love from choice.”

Do this every day. For 21 days minimum. Your nervous system needs REPETITION to create new pathways. You’re not just saying affirmations. You’re literally rewiring your body’s understanding of what love, desire, and safety FEEL like.

Step Five: Put Your Hands on Your Ovaries and LISTEN

Here’s one they don’t teach you in sex ed: Your ovaries aren’t just reproductive organs. They’re WISDOM KEEPERS. Lie down. Hands on your lower belly, right where your ovaries live (about two inches in from your hip bones, low in your pelvis). Breathe INTO them. Like you’re sending breath, attention, PRESENCE into those spaces.

And LISTEN. Not with your ears. With your BODY. What are they holding? What have they been trying to tell you? Maybe it’s rage. Maybe it’s grief. Maybe it’s a scream you’ve been swallowing for years. Maybe it’s just... exhaustion from carrying all this unfelt feeling. Let it come up. Don’t edit it. Don’t make it make sense.

Your ovaries know who’s good for you and who’s not. They know when you’re lying to yourself. They know the difference between chemistry and compatibility. Whisper to them: “I’m sorry I ignored you. I’m listening now. Tell me what you need.” This isn’t woo-woo. This is interoception. This is tuning back into the intelligence of your BODY instead of outsourcing every decision to your anxious mind.

Step Six: Ask the Uncomfortable Questions (And Don’t Let Yourself Off the Hook)

Grab your journal again. Time for the REAL uncomfortable shit. “Whose hunger am I feeding?” When you have sex with him, whose pleasure are you prioritizing? Whose experience are you managing? Who are you performing FOR? “Am I wet because I want him, or because I want to be wanted?”

There’s a DIFFERENCE. Your body knows. Stop lying. “What would I choose if I wasn’t choosing from scarcity?” If you KNEW you were lovable, desirable, enough exactly as you are… would you still choose him? Or are you choosing him because you’re afraid no one else will want you?

“Which part of me is making this decision: the woman I’m becoming, or the wound I’m trying to heal?” Is this a choice from your FULLNESS, or from the part of you that’s still trying to prove you’re worthy of love by enduring shit you shouldn’t have to endure? Write the answers. ALL of them. Even the ones that make you want to throw your journal across the room. Especially those.

X. Meet the Women You Could Become (Or: The Five Frequencies Living in Your Quantum Field Right Now)

Here’s the wild part about quantum mechanics and human consciousness: You’re not just ONE version of yourself. You’re a WAVE of possibilities. Multiple versions of you exist simultaneously in the field of potential. And which one collapses into your lived reality depends on the FREQUENCY you’re embodying.

Right now, in this moment, there are five versions of you available. Five frequencies. Five women. You get to choose which one you activate.

Version One: The Woman Who No Longer Asks Permission to Be Real

Her body: Throat open. Voice steady. Feet planted.

Her frequency: She speaks her truth even when her voice shakes. She doesn’t explain herself. Doesn’t defend. Doesn’t perform.

How to activate her: Speak ONE truth you’ve been censoring. Just one. Out loud. To the person who needs to hear it. Don’t soften it. Don’t package it in apologies. Don’t make it easier for them to receive. Just say it. And then STAY THERE. In the aftermath. In the silence. In the discomfort. Don’t rush to fix it or take it back or smooth it over. Let the truth stand. Let it breathe. Watch what happens when you stop abandoning yourself to make others comfortable.

Version Two: The Woman Who Isn’t Ashamed of Her Hunger

Her body: Pelvis alive. Breath deep. Voice earthy, grounded, real.

Her frequency: She knows that desire isn’t lack. It’s LIFE FORCE. She asks for what she wants without making it cute, small, or apologetic.

How to activate her: Write down WITHOUT censoring, WITHOUT softening, exactly what you want: In touch, In sex, In conversation, In a relationship, In LIFE

No “maybe.” No “it would be nice if.” No “I don’t want to be too demanding, but...” Just: “I want ___.” Say it out loud. Let your body HEAR you claiming your desire without shame.

Version Three: The Woman Who Stays Present Even in Her Darkness

Her body: Grounded. Rooted. Solid.

Her voice: She doesn’t protect other people’s feelings at the expense of her own truth.

How to activate her: Next time you feel anxiety, grief, rage, or that uncomfortable “too much” feeling rising… Don’t run. Don’t distract. Don’t eat it, drink it, fuck it, or scroll it away. Sit down. Put both hands on your chest. And say: “I’m here. I’m staying. I’m not running from this.” Let it move through you. Let it shake you. Let it break you open if it needs to. Your darkness doesn’t need to be fixed. It needs to be FELT.

Version Four: The Woman Whose Sexuality Is Sacred, Not Currency

Her body: Pelvis moves when she breathes. Not because she’s trying to seduce. Because she’s ALIVE.

Her voice: Soft doesn’t mean weak. She can whisper and still lead.

How to activate her: Touch yourself with NO goal. No agenda. No “and then this will lead to...” Just... touch. Your arms. Your thighs. Your belly. Your breasts. Not to turn yourself on. Not to “practice self-love.” Just to FEEL. Let the touch be an inquiry: “What does my body feel like when I’m not performing?” Your body isn’t a tool for someone else’s pleasure. It’s not a bargaining chip for love. It’s the ALTAR where you meet yourself.

Version Five: The Woman Who Loves from Choice, Not from Wound

Her voice: She says “I WANT” instead of “I’m afraid.”

Her frequency: She can tell the difference between chemistry (which is often just trauma recognition) and true compatibility (which is calm, clear, CHOSE).

How to activate her: Look at your last relationship, the one that hurt. Ask yourself: “What was I actually searching for in that person?” Not what you THOUGHT you wanted. What you were ACTUALLY searching for: Validation? Safety? Proof that you’re lovable? Someone to fix the hole your father/mother/first love left? Write it down. And then say: “I’m no longer choosing from that wound. I’m choosing from my WHOLENESS.”

You don’t BECOME these women through willpower or vision boards. You activate them through FREQUENCY. And frequency lives in your BODY: in your breath, your movement, your willingness to stay present even when it’s uncomfortable. Choose one. Activate her.

What Nobody Tells You About Reclaiming Your Erotic Power (Spoiler: People Will Be Uncomfortable and That’s Not Your Problem)

Okay, real talk for a second. When you stop projecting your erotic energy, when you call it back home and start LIVING from it instead of leaking it all over people who can’t even hold it, shit changes. And not everyone’s gonna like it. The people who benefited from your performance will call you “cold” when you stop pretending. The people who fed off your hunger will call you “selfish” when you stop shrinking. The people who needed you to be small will call you “too much” when you take up your full space. Let them.

Because here’s what ALSO happens: You start walking differently. Not trying to be sexy. Not performing femininity. Not apologizing with your body language. Just... SOLID. Grounded. Like your bones remembered they’re made of the same stuff as mountains. You stop checking your phone every three minutes because you’re not waiting for external validation to tell you you’re real.

You stop having sex that leaves you feeling empty because you’ve learned the difference between PERFORMING pleasure and actually FEELING it. You make decisions FASTER because you’re not asking your anxious brain to override what your body already knows. You stop attracting chaos. Not because you’re “healed” or “fixed” or “finally got your shit together.” But because your FREQUENCY changed. You’re no longer broadcasting: “I’m available for crumbs.” You’re broadcasting: “I’m the whole fucking feast. And if you’re hungry for DEPTH, not just hungry, welcome. Otherwise, keep scrolling.”

And people who can match that frequency? They start showing up. Not perfect people. Not people without wounds or baggage or their own shit to work through. But people who are AWAKE. Who can meet you. Who can hold the full voltage of your aliveness without trying to dim it, manage it, or turn it into something they can control.

The Final Transmission

Your pussy isn’t a problem to solve. Your desire isn’t something to “fix” or “manage” or “heal.” Your erotic energy isn’t too much, it was never too much. It’s a COMPASS. A quantum antenna. A frequency generator that’s been trying to navigate you toward your most ALIVE life since before you were born. And for years, you’ve been using it to dial wrong numbers. You’ve been asking: “How do I make him stay?” When the real question is: “How do I come home to MYSELF?” You’ve been projecting your hunger onto people who can’t hold it, fragmenting yourself across relationships that required you to be LESS so they could feel like MORE.

And babe, I need you to hear this: You’re not broken because you’re hungry.
You’re not damaged because you want deeply. You’re not “too much” because you feel intensely. You’re AWAKE. Your pussy’s been trying to tell you the truth this whole time. Maybe it’s time you finally listened.

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If You Want to Go Deeper: This Month’s Gift

Look, I know what you’re thinking. You just read 9,000 words about reclaiming your erotic energy and learning that your pelvis is basically a quantum GPS. And maybe part of you is like: “Okay, I’m awake now. But HOW do I actually live this when my nervous system’s still running on Windows 95?” Fair. Here’s the thing: Your erotic energy isn’t this isolated “sexy” thing. It’s the SAME fire that makes you create, destroy, rage, birth, and rebuild. I wrote a book about this.

It’s called Divine Fire: Reclaiming the Sacred Feminine Through Cycles of Transformation.

This month, I’m gifting it to my paid Substack subscribers, but if you’re not ready for a subscription but want the book? You can grab it standalone on Ko-fi.

(Quick note: The book uses astrological language to map cycles but you don’t need to be in astrology to use it. This is about YOUR body’s rhythms, YOUR fire’s patterns. The cosmos is just the map. YOU are the territory.)