The Most Dysfunctional Workplace in the Multiverse: Your Psyche (A Performance Review)

Or: How to Stop Being Unpaid Janitorial Staff in Your Own Unconscious

Welcome to the most dysfunctional workplace in existence: the space between your ears.

🔥 THE PERFORMANCE REVIEW 🔥

Let’s face it, existential middle-manager: you’ve been working as unpaid janitorial staff in your psychological basement when you actually hold the deed to the entire internal property. You’ve been emptying shadow trash bins and unclogging emotional toilets when you should be in the executive suite making decisions. That moment when you finally check your internal inbox and find the ownership papers? That’s when transformation stops being a cute refrigerator magnet and becomes your actual life.

Your nervous system knows who’s in charge. Your body tracks every abdication of authority. Your cells register every time you hand the keys to a part of you that was never meant to drive.

Your biology doesn’t hand out sovereignty like participation trophies at a kindergarten soccer tournament where everyone gets orange slices regardless of whether they spent the entire game picking da…