Your Fears Are Running a Rerun Channel (And You Keep Paying the Subscription)
Or: A Somatic Guide to Turning Your Beautiful Disasters Into Actual Equipment
Listen, gorgeous disaster, we need to talk about those moments when your perfectly curated existence suddenly feels like it got tossed in a blender by someone who forgot to put the lid on. You know that exact feeling when everything you thought was solid ground turns into quicksand, and you’re left standing there like “Excuse me, reality? What the actual hell? I had PLANS. I made LISTS. I bought the JOURNAL.”
Here’s the plot twist nobody puts on their vision boards between the aesthetic quotes and the pictures of beach houses: These life disruptions aren’t accidents or punishment for that time you didn’t tip the barista because you were dissociating through your entire transaction. Nope. They’re actually your nervous system’s way of sliding into your own awareness with an upgrade notification you didn’t request and can’t ignore.
And honey, when your body decides your identity needs renovating, it doesn’t ask for permits or check if you’re emotionally available for construction.
➳♡⋆｡°✩₊⁺˳✧༚ ⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ༚✧˳⁺⁎⋆₊✩°｡⋆♡➳
This essay grew up and moved out. It lives in Fear & Fire: A Somatic Field Guide to Your Sacred Disasters now.
The full text is in print. A book with a spine, a cover, and a body that holds the whole thing.
You're literally terrified of movies you've seen seventeen times.
- how are you able to so aptly capture what’s going on in my brain?
Fear is always a remembering and yet we splash it all over an unknown future like paint on a blank canvas. The canvas is still blank yet we convince ourselves otherwise.
Thank you for your incredibly clarifying exercises. I found you at the exact right time.
Triple-wow, quadruple-wow,
yes, I am aligned to your words before reading them.
Worth the gold of a lifetime, your humor makes me smile
... and that rarely happens in todays fires of transformation.
Your statements about fears, they reminded me of my favourite sentence:
every fear is the fear of the pain of a repetition of s.th. that never happened on the soul level - the separation from the source