At the end of 2025 I had some time off, some space to relax and just be. My body and were not on the same page and it was hard. It was three days of negotiations, talking to my body, breathing. And then came this pattern of silent suffering, I saw how I put everything and everyone first, fitting myself and my body in when I could, eating so fast to get the next thing done so I could rest, but there was no rest. Digestive upset, sleep not great, but I never talked about it, silent suffering. And then three days... now I am not saying I became this me first girl lol
But definitely listening to my body, definitely closing the tabs, slowing down, simple things like making my lunch first ( which to anyone who has a family and makes lunches will understand)
Making your lunch first when you have a family to feed? The body finally saying "I live here too." Three days of negotiation is exactly how long it takes when the wiring runs that deep. You're not selfish now. You're finally included. That's everything. Thank you for this. 💎
This really hits home. I’ve realized my body is communicating with me and we haven’t resolved the negotiation. Right now it feels impossible to reach an agreement because my job is 24/7 availability so there is no “off”. It feels like the job must change to make any of this better. But maybe that’s just another way of ignoring my body. Lots to think about.
"Maybe that's just another way of ignoring my body." The fact that you asked that question means you're not ignoring anymore. You're mid-negotiation. Stay at the table. The terms will come. 💎
I pray that many will read this and begin listening to their ‘guts.’ Multi-tasking is the bane of the ‘modern’ world, where if you can’t do it, you are considered incompetent, and that is such BS. It’s a vicious entanglement that never stops, because once you are seen as someone who can juggle thirteen china plates and not damaged any, guess what, you get a few more plates until they all crash land. And usually they land on your head, and if you are lucky, you aren’t in the ER afterwards. Also, completion doesn’t mean that that one task has to be completed in one fell swoop. And guilt at having to take time to complete it well is better than getting another text message from the boss telling you to do it again.
What a way to live, where it feels as if you are on a battlefield just waiting, waiting for a missile to strike. On constant alert and not knowing when, where, what, and how. Thank you Dea. We need to get this out to people.
The plate metaphor is perfect. Nobody ever rewards you by removing plates. They just assume the trick is sustainable because you made it look easy. And the battlefield one... that hypervigilance is your nervous system doing exactly what it's designed to do in war. The problem is nobody declared peace.
Your body already knows that completion can be paced. It's your environment that sold you the lie that speed equals competence. Slow and whole beats fast and shattered. Always did.
Getting this out there is exactly what we're doing. One nervous system at a time. ✨
Dea, I feel like my body went into a full government shutdown and I have been trying to get different agencies back up and running. Sometimes my goal is to get a few agencies simultaneously running, but that doesn't work very well. Then I get frustrated at myself because I have so many agencies closed.
I have noticed that when I finish five little, stupid things that have been hanging over my head for weeks at a time I feel like I've climbed a mountain. I knew they were taking up headspace but it's hard to believe that they were occupying so much space.
Government shutdown! I love this. Your nervous system has been operating like a federal agency with seventeen subcommittees, four overlapping jurisdictions, and one broken coffee machine holding the whole thing together.
The five stupid tasks that felt like climbing a mountain? Those weren't stupid. Those were open loops your brain was running background processing on 24/7. Every unfinished thing costs RAM. You just freed up servers you didn't know were occupied.
Don't try to reboot all agencies at once. The body doesn't work like that. One department at a time. Some of them can stay closed forever. Nobody needs a Department of Guilt Maintenance running at full capacity anyway. 💎
I am in the crash that has been imminent forever, now ready to heal and listen. Thank you for these practical ways that work. It amazes me how you always write exactly what I need whenever I read your posts, even if I read them out of order xxx
The crash you've been outrunning finally caught you. Good. That's where the healing hides... in the rubble you kept stepping over.
And what you said about the posts finding you out of order but landing exactly where you need them? That's the best thing a writer can hear. Your cells are selecting. The brain just thinks it's driving.
Thank you for telling me this. Thank you for trusting the crash. Welcome to the rubble. This is where we build from. xxx 💎
So spot on! I have been exhausted for six years, perplexed, no energy, no motivation, lack of joy. And the irony especially the last 4 years I’m the least stressed I’ve been in my life, have time for self care, and yet nothing changed. Still charged and stuck. I started doing more breath work, working with a maya fascia release massage therapist, focusing more on what I want to do and SLOWLY it, my energy and life energy is coming back…and you are right, not with the adrenaline burst of energy and the immediacy, but gentler, softer and still aliveness with it! I feel like I am thawing out, noticing that I actually did t really feel my body. Weight of my body on the ground? What, couldn’t do it, now I am starting to feel a little. Aches and pains are showing up, almost like when your toes start to thaw after wearing ski boots all day. I’m doing somatic movements with breath, slowly! No rush. No urgency. And that to do list, slowly completing things one at a time. Still have to acknowledge this and work on this more. With this awareness, the way you framed it, I think it is possible. Thank you!
This is so good; so helpful. Your tag line, "where wisdom gets witty" is very apt!
Thank you. Wisdom without wit puts people to sleep. Glad the tagline landed... and even gladder the content did. 💎
At the end of 2025 I had some time off, some space to relax and just be. My body and were not on the same page and it was hard. It was three days of negotiations, talking to my body, breathing. And then came this pattern of silent suffering, I saw how I put everything and everyone first, fitting myself and my body in when I could, eating so fast to get the next thing done so I could rest, but there was no rest. Digestive upset, sleep not great, but I never talked about it, silent suffering. And then three days... now I am not saying I became this me first girl lol
But definitely listening to my body, definitely closing the tabs, slowing down, simple things like making my lunch first ( which to anyone who has a family and makes lunches will understand)
Dea thank you for your writing and your book.
Making your lunch first when you have a family to feed? The body finally saying "I live here too." Three days of negotiation is exactly how long it takes when the wiring runs that deep. You're not selfish now. You're finally included. That's everything. Thank you for this. 💎
This really hits home. I’ve realized my body is communicating with me and we haven’t resolved the negotiation. Right now it feels impossible to reach an agreement because my job is 24/7 availability so there is no “off”. It feels like the job must change to make any of this better. But maybe that’s just another way of ignoring my body. Lots to think about.
"Maybe that's just another way of ignoring my body." The fact that you asked that question means you're not ignoring anymore. You're mid-negotiation. Stay at the table. The terms will come. 💎
Thank you for the encouragement. I like that - mid-negotiation.
Stay at the table. The body is a tough negotiator but a fair one. 💎
My jaw just softened and my shoulders dropped.
Jaw and shoulders just filed a joint report: "she's getting it." 💎
🪻
I pray that many will read this and begin listening to their ‘guts.’ Multi-tasking is the bane of the ‘modern’ world, where if you can’t do it, you are considered incompetent, and that is such BS. It’s a vicious entanglement that never stops, because once you are seen as someone who can juggle thirteen china plates and not damaged any, guess what, you get a few more plates until they all crash land. And usually they land on your head, and if you are lucky, you aren’t in the ER afterwards. Also, completion doesn’t mean that that one task has to be completed in one fell swoop. And guilt at having to take time to complete it well is better than getting another text message from the boss telling you to do it again.
What a way to live, where it feels as if you are on a battlefield just waiting, waiting for a missile to strike. On constant alert and not knowing when, where, what, and how. Thank you Dea. We need to get this out to people.
The plate metaphor is perfect. Nobody ever rewards you by removing plates. They just assume the trick is sustainable because you made it look easy. And the battlefield one... that hypervigilance is your nervous system doing exactly what it's designed to do in war. The problem is nobody declared peace.
Your body already knows that completion can be paced. It's your environment that sold you the lie that speed equals competence. Slow and whole beats fast and shattered. Always did.
Getting this out there is exactly what we're doing. One nervous system at a time. ✨
Dea, I feel like my body went into a full government shutdown and I have been trying to get different agencies back up and running. Sometimes my goal is to get a few agencies simultaneously running, but that doesn't work very well. Then I get frustrated at myself because I have so many agencies closed.
I have noticed that when I finish five little, stupid things that have been hanging over my head for weeks at a time I feel like I've climbed a mountain. I knew they were taking up headspace but it's hard to believe that they were occupying so much space.
Government shutdown! I love this. Your nervous system has been operating like a federal agency with seventeen subcommittees, four overlapping jurisdictions, and one broken coffee machine holding the whole thing together.
The five stupid tasks that felt like climbing a mountain? Those weren't stupid. Those were open loops your brain was running background processing on 24/7. Every unfinished thing costs RAM. You just freed up servers you didn't know were occupied.
Don't try to reboot all agencies at once. The body doesn't work like that. One department at a time. Some of them can stay closed forever. Nobody needs a Department of Guilt Maintenance running at full capacity anyway. 💎
Doing this shit since like forever...but the last couple of years jesus christ
The fact that you're feeling it means you're finally listening. Your body's been waiting for you to show up. You did. 💎
Really enjoy your work, Dea. Thank you 🌺❤️🐕
I am in the crash that has been imminent forever, now ready to heal and listen. Thank you for these practical ways that work. It amazes me how you always write exactly what I need whenever I read your posts, even if I read them out of order xxx
The crash you've been outrunning finally caught you. Good. That's where the healing hides... in the rubble you kept stepping over.
And what you said about the posts finding you out of order but landing exactly where you need them? That's the best thing a writer can hear. Your cells are selecting. The brain just thinks it's driving.
Thank you for telling me this. Thank you for trusting the crash. Welcome to the rubble. This is where we build from. xxx 💎
So spot on! I have been exhausted for six years, perplexed, no energy, no motivation, lack of joy. And the irony especially the last 4 years I’m the least stressed I’ve been in my life, have time for self care, and yet nothing changed. Still charged and stuck. I started doing more breath work, working with a maya fascia release massage therapist, focusing more on what I want to do and SLOWLY it, my energy and life energy is coming back…and you are right, not with the adrenaline burst of energy and the immediacy, but gentler, softer and still aliveness with it! I feel like I am thawing out, noticing that I actually did t really feel my body. Weight of my body on the ground? What, couldn’t do it, now I am starting to feel a little. Aches and pains are showing up, almost like when your toes start to thaw after wearing ski boots all day. I’m doing somatic movements with breath, slowly! No rush. No urgency. And that to do list, slowly completing things one at a time. Still have to acknowledge this and work on this more. With this awareness, the way you framed it, I think it is possible. Thank you!
Thank you!