You Were Born Knowing How to Receive

And then spent €3,000 learning it again at a retreat where someone named Moonflower touched your sacrum

Your first act on this planet was receiving. You emerged from a body, latched onto a nipple, and sucked like you were being paid per milliliter. No one gave you an online course. No one sent you a Kajabi link. No one scheduled a discovery call to discuss your “abundance blocks.” You just... received. Like a mammal. Because you were one. Still are, actually, despite what your LinkedIn bio suggests.

Your body remembers receiving the way your tongue remembers salt. Not as technique. As origin. As the first language your cells ever spoke, before words, before wounds, before anyone satisfying.

And now? Now you’re sitting in a circle somewhere in Portugal, eyes closed, breathing through your yoni, trying to “open yourself to receiving” while a woman in harem pants explains that your root chakra is “stagnant” and that’ll be €200 plus a juice cleanse, thank you.

The cosmic joke is so on-the-nose it’s basically assault: you came pre-installed with a receiving function. Factory settings. Default m…