When Your Body Writes Checks Your Nervous System Can't Cash

Or: Why You Know Exactly What to Do But Your Flesh Keeps Filing for Extension

You know that soul-crushing paradox where your entire being screams “YES!” like it’s at a Beyoncé concert front row with backstage passes, but your body just... freezes? Like someone hit the pause button on the Netflix series of your existence and now you’re stuck buffering indefinitely while the little spinning wheel mocks your entire life trajectory?

Welcome to the most exclusive club nobody wants to join, darling. Membership is free but the dues are paid in existential confusion and 3am ceiling-staring.

This isn’t a story about how you “lack clarity.” Please, spare me that recycled personal development small talk that’s been circulating since 2015. You have more clarity than a 4K camera pointed directly at your deepest knowing. The real comedy? You’re basically a biological GPS that knows exactly where to go but keeps making U-turns because the driver (aka your nervous system) is having an existential panic attack while simultaneously trying to navigate, check the mirrors, and process why that song from 2007 suddenly made you cry.

➳♡⋆｡°✩₊⁺˳✧༚ ⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ༚✧˳⁺⁎⋆₊✩°｡⋆♡➳

This essay grew up and moved out. It lives in Fear & Fire: A Somatic Field Guide to Your Sacred Disasters now.

The full text is in print. A book with a spine, a cover, and a body that holds the whole thing.