The Art of Making Money While Your Brain Is Swimming in Cosmic Jello

How to Manifest Money While Your Common Sense is Meditating in Bali

Look, I get it. Your bank account is floating somewhere between reality and a Salvador Dalí painting, your career plans are doing synchronized swimming with your deepest dreams, and your inner wisdom is currently on an ayahuasca retreat without leaving a forwarding address. Welcome to the deep end – we have floating devices and snacks.

The Perfect Storm Inside Your Head (Or: Why Your Business Plans Look Like They Were Written by an Octopus)

Right now, your intuition is skinny dipping in the ocean of possibility, your practical side is trying to build sandcastles in a tsunami, and your creative spirit is off doing underwater basket weaving with your future self. Perfect time to make major business decisions, right? nervous laughter

The Revolutionary Act of Doing Nothing (Without Having a Panic Attack About It)

Here's the part where I tell you something that'll make your productivity-obsessed inner achiever need a paper bag to breathe into: The most powerful thing you can do right now is absolutely nothing.

Pro tip: If anyone asks what you're doing, tell them you're "calibrating your energetic frequency for optimal abundance attraction." It sounds better than "I'm staring at my ceiling fan questioning all my life choices."

Actual Practical Magic You Can Do Right Now

1. The Great Purge (Because Your Business Needs an Exorcism):

   • Delete old files like you're destroying evidence

   • Clean your workspace until it looks less like a crime scene

   • Organize your digital life (yes, those 47,392 unread emails count)

   • Bonus points: Sage your laptop (kidding, please don't)

2. The Money Ritual for Skeptics:

   • Get a fresh journal (or just steal paper from your printer)

   • Write down every limiting belief about money that's living rent-free in your head

   • Now write down every time you felt like a financial failure

   • Feel it in your aura and breath it out

   • Ceremoniously destroy these papers (burning preferred, but if you're in an apartment, maybe just aggressively recycle)

3. The Client Cleanse:

   • Make a list of clients who make you want to fake your own death

   • Calculate how much energy you spend dreading their emails

   • Start drafting those "It's not you, it's my boundaries" emails

   • Create an exit strategy that doesn't involve moving to Bali

Your Subconscious: The Business Advisor Who's Currently Microdosing

Your intuition right now is like that friend who went to Burning Man and came back "transformed." It's speaking in riddles but might actually be onto something. Pay attention to:

• Random 3 AM insights

• Shower thoughts about business models

• Dreams where you're giving TED talks (even if you're naked in them)

• That weird idea that seems completely illogical but won't leave you alone

The Magical Money Moves

Remember: Not all money is your money. Some money comes with more baggage than your ex. Here's what to do:

1. Pay Your Debts:

   • Yes, including that "I'll get you next time" coffee you owe your friend

   • Especially the ones you've been pretending don't exist

   • Consider it energetic decluttering (but with actual financial benefits)

2. Clear Your Money Karma:

   • Cancel those subscriptions you forgot about

   • Finally invoice that client from three months ago

   • Stop pretending your "budget" is just a fancy spreadsheet you look at once a year

3. Set Up Success Altars (Or Just Clean Your Desk):

   • Create a dedicated space for work that doesn't double as your snack station

   • Put away the "I'll deal with this later" pile

   • Maybe add some plants (try to keep them alive this time)

The "Trust Your Gut Without Losing Your Mind" Protocol

Your inner wisdom is trying to tell you something. It's probably not "start another podcast," but it might be worth listening to. Here's how:

• Sit quietly for 5 minutes (scrolling while on the toilet doesn't count)

• Ask yourself what you actually want (not what that Instagram guru told you to want)

• Write down the first thing that comes to mind (even if it's "quit everything and become a dolphin trainer")

• Repeat until you either have clarity or need a snack

What You'll Get From This Weird Time (Besides Existential Insights)

When you emerge from this psychedelic business vision quest, you'll have:

• A clearer vision (or at least fewer delusions)

• Better boundaries (and fewer energy vampire clients)

• Stronger intuition (and possibly a slight addiction to journaling)

• A business that actually feels like yours (instead of a paint-by-numbers disaster)

But for now? Just float. Clean your energy. Trust the process. And maybe don't launch that course just yet. Unless it's about teaching dolphins to use TikTok – in that case, I want the presale link.

P.S. If you enjoyed this deep-sea dive into business wisdom, consider signing up for my newsletter. It's like having a business mentor who combines street smarts with soul smarts, minus the toxic positivity and plus some occasional existential humor. Think of it as weekly business advice from someone who's equally familiar with profit margins and panic attacks.