CRACK THE COSMIC CODE: God's Testicle, Divine Ovary & The Egg Magic Your Spiritual Teacher Is Hiding

Your Refrigerator Contains More Manifestation Power Than Your Entire Crystal Collection

HOLY SHELL! IT'S EASTER (SORT OF)

Look at the calendar, cosmic wanderers! The Catholics are celebrating Easter today (yes, we all know the actual equinox was March 21st, but organized religion has always been that friend who shows up to the party a month late with the wrong gift).

But here's the egg-citing part: while half the world is busy hiding chocolate eggs for capitalist bunnies, the cosmos is presenting us with a much juicier opportunity. The Sun is strutting into Taurus like it owns the place, which technically it does, as this is its exaltation point: bringing fertile, stubborn, pleasure-seeking bull energy to everyone's chart.

But wait! Plot twist! The Moon is in its fall, which means this isn't planting season, darling, it's releasing season. It's cosmic diarrhea time! (Too far? Never far enough when we're talking about spiritual transformation.)

What's actually happening right now is the ACTIVATION OF YOUR INNER EGG. That dormant potential. That thing you've been incubating while telling everyone "I'm working on something big" but really you've just been rewatching Bridgerton and calling it "research." It's like when you tell people you're "processing" but you're actually just scrolling Instagram in the bathtub with a glass of wine that's more ice than wine at this point.

The universe is basically reaching into your spiritual refrigerator, grabbing that egg you've been saving, and saying: "Cook it or lose it, sweetheart. The expiration date on your excuses just passed."

THE EGG IN YOUR HAND IS GOD'S UNDERSTUDY

That egg in your hand? It's not just the universe: it's God's testicle, the cosmic ovary, the spiritual suppository of existence the universe is hoping you'll finally get the message from because you're ignoring all the other signs.

No, really. That ordinary thing you crack open for your hungover breakfast burrito has been carrying the weight of existence since before Instagram, before religion, before humans had the audacity to think they were special.

Let's dive into the yolk of meaning, and how to use it energetically, shall we? ✨